5.25.2008

Eating Steak, Laughing at Hookers and the Near-Fatality of a Drunk

So my fans (all 2 of them) have been bugging me to write a blog. So I figured I'd sit down and write it on Thursday...then I thought 'Why don't I wait. We're going out to dinner on Friday with some friends and there's bound to be mischief and mayhem' and lo and behold, I was right!

It started off with a lovely dinner at The Keg (American friends - it's a steakhouse). Well, the conversation was lovely, even though the food wasn't. Anyway, we were driving our friends home and this is what we see:

1. A hooker in a gold sequin skirt (skirt???...there wasn't much to it. Loincloth? Strategically-placed scarf?) proposition two teenage boys on bikes who promptly laugh and point at her. Now, I don't have a beef with prostitution, we all need to do what we need to do, but I believe the law defines the term 'statutory rape' as sex with a minor, paid or not.

2. A drunk woman trying to cross the street. There's massive amounts of construction on St. Clair, so we were redirected onto the streetcar tracks a few times. Well, the woman crosses the other lanes, goes up onto the concrete island where the transit shelter is, and then promptly falls in front of my car. Luckily my superior reflexes (from NOT having any wine at dinner) and superb Toyota brakes saved the day! She laid there for a few moments and then slowly got to her feet. She removed her shoes (as if they caused the fall rather than the fact she was marinated in alcohol) and painfully shuffled off. I'm glad I was able to stop...because that would've been one big bug to clean off the windshield.

3. At least (and I mean the very VERY least) two cars driven by drunk drivers. People, just because you're drunk doesn't mean you can drive between two lanes...you must drive exactly how you drive sober. Being inebriated does not give you special powers, nor the right to take up more of the road than anyone else. Seriously, though, don't do it...I had a family member killed by a drunk driver (he was directing traffic around a construction site...in broad daylight). It usually isn't the drunk that gets killed (if it was I'd say go on with your bad self...you're a douche for driving drunk in the first place) but the innocent bystanders. *gets off soapbox*

~*~ Intermission ~*~

Ok. So I went outside because I was falling asleep at the computer, and this couple is trying to stencil something onto the side of their SUV. As far as I know (and I could be wrong...my car painting experience is minimal...) there is no decorative spray paint for cars. Regardless, their stencil wouldn't stick because they repositioned it too many times. When they finally got it set, it was overlapping where the front door opened...a weird spot if you ask me (I know, no one did!). So then they sprayed and from where I was standing (under 100 yards away) there was nothing. Can't wait to see how this one plays out.

Well, ladles and jelly-spoons, I am off to... I'm not telling. Let's keep the mystique. *wink*

[[PS I am to lazy to proofread today...I apologize for any typos]]

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