Sharing the Randomness...#3

3: 1:16pm - So I get out of the shower and put my deodorant on. I think, just for giggles, I'll check out what the directions say: "Apply in a thin layer...blah blah blah...APPLY TO THE UNDERARM ONLY." Really? Where else would you apply it? Let's see...what else stinks...feet? That'd be a slippery mess. Butts? I'm thinking that'd be terribly uncomfortable...and probably still smelly. I wonder if this is one of those instances where someone did something incredibly stupid with it and they had to add a warning to the packaging as part of the lawsuit. You know, like that dumbass who sued McDonald's because she dumped coffee in her lap.

Sharing the Randomness...#2

2: 3:30 pm - How weird would it be if doctors could check your blog or status update? It might say "Doug went bungee jumping today." but Doug has a heart disorder and shouldn't get the living CRAP scared out of him! Then when he goes to the doctor with chest pains the doctor can be like "It's your own damn fault jackass!" I'm sure I could think of a thousand more examples, but I work you know!

Sharing the Randomness...

So I've decided to start blogging about the randomness that goes through my brain throughout the day. It's way too bizarre to keep to myself. I'll try to explain what it's like...it's like weird thoughts swirling around, sometimes it's made-up movies with characters and dialogue, and sometimes I have no idea! Don't worry...it's not multiple personality disorder...my doctor said so.

So there is likely to be a HUGE increase in entries...albeit smaller ones. Hope you enjoy!

1: 12:15am - Wouldn't it be interesting if the US Treasury picked some people, gave them some bags and told them they could keep however much money they could grab in 30 seconds? The catch is that if you don't make it out by the time limit they lock you in the vault forever and you'd be forced to eat money until the day you die. Which, if you ask me, is a perfect punishment for being greedy!

So, there you go. First entry. I feel better already! But I bet you feel worse!

AMENDMENT TO PREVIOUS POST!

Nowhere is safe! I had forgotten that the unlatched door on the roof of the apartment building across from us slams open and shut any time the wind blows! I suppose my only option is to borrow the earplugs Husband wears when I snore!

It Can't Be Spring Soon Enough! Then I'll Have Some Peace!

I am ready to SCREAM! Neighbors are the bain of my existence. Well, maybe not that bad...but still. Tonight everyone needs to SHUT THE EF UP! I've got some guy slamming away like he's taking an ax to a corpse. I've got a whiny ass dog barking (altho it sounds more like dying). I've got a man yelling at a little girl while a baby is screaming in the background. I'm surprised the fabulous people upstairs haven't been moving furniture, dropping marbles or slamming drawers like they usually do all day and night! ARG! Time to go outside where, shockingly, it's quiet! Too bad it's -8C!

Makes Me Smile

It's HOW much?!?!? And goes WHERE?!?!?

So Husband sends me a link to the new Quattro 6000D. It's the MOTHER of all sewing/embroidering/world domination machines. All for the low low price of $9,000. Why wasn't I born rich instead of beautiful?

Well, the link he sent didn't have a price listed and of course I just HAD to know. So a-searching I go. Well, while I was searching I came across a site called BornRich.org, which lists some of the most expensive (and ridiculous) items around.

The first on the list is a DIAMOND ENCRUSTED $2,000 VIBRATOR! Yes. I said vibrator. So I check out the website. Seems the 5.25" long 'Little Steel Tonight' also comes with a leather strap so it can be worn around the neck while out and about, screaming loudly "Look at me! I'm easy!" Luckily the device is dishwasher safe.

Here's the company's website for all the sordid details. Go ahead. I won't tell anyone. *wink wink*